A Season for Grieving

We all know at least one person in our life, possibly ourselves, that has encountered a loved one dying. Death is inevitable and is part of the circle of life. Death affects all of us differently including length of time to mourn and grieve. The grieving process is unique to every individual and is not a one-size fits all. Sometimes we tend to think people should grieve as we would, and if they do not, we can become judgmental and lack empathy.

My family and I lost our beloved grandma in April of 2020 due to Covid. She was one of the first in her senior community to catch it and be sent to a local hospital. Due to the severity of the infection along with pneumonia the hospital staff wanted to put her on a ventilator, or else she would not survive. We knew my grandma’s wishes, and we declined per her request. Shortly after we stated her end-of-life wishes she left us. The most difficult part of her passing was we could not see her and say our good-byes. She was admitted on a Covid ward, and the hospital would only allow one person at a time to visit a patient, with the requirement of being dressed head to toe in protective gear. Not knowing enough about Covid since it was the beginning of a long horrendous journey, we decided as a family not to visit. Not being able to see her one last time we said our good-byes over a phone that a chaplain held to her ear.

Going through the grieving process has helped me have a deeper understanding of others grieving. I learned a few things, and I hope these insights will help others understand.

  1. Some people may cry, and cry a lot, while others may not cry and show emotion, at least in public view. People carry their emotions differently, and someone that is visibly less emotional does not mean they don’t feel anything.  
  2. There is a season for everything, especially grieving. The important part is not to remain in the lows. Seek a therapist or a trusted individual to help you navigate and cope with the loss.
  3. There is absolutely no shame in saying you’re not okay. Admitting you’re not okay is strength, and that’s when you can begin to move forward towards healing and serenity.