Before I made the decision to leave my nursing home career in Kansas and move back to Springfield my mom was working full-time in a management position while taking care of my grandma. She was taking care of my grandma after work and on weekends. It got to the point of where my mom was exhausted and worn out that it was affecting her work life and her relationship with her mom whom she always loved. When I moved back, I became a part-time caregiver for my grandma, who had Alzheimer’s. She was residing in an independent living community, and for her to be suitable to stay our family needed to either hire outside help or I needed to step in. When I stepped in to assist my family with grandma, it was not long until I began to feel the effects of caregiving burnout. Being an administrator, I knew the warning signs, but when you’re in the trenches it can provide blind spots.

Caregiving for a loved one is a double-edged sword. You get the blessing of taking care of someone you love, but also if you do not view self-care as vital you will quickly burnout. Before you know, it begins to affect your relationship with your loved one starting out in subtle ways into more obvious habits. It isn’t selfish to take the time to rejuvenate; it is wise and healthy. Self-care gives the caregiver some respite (time away from caregiving) to decompress so they can get back to doing a great job being a caregiver.

Here are some subtle ways to tell if caregiver burnout is creeping in:

  1. You find yourself getting easily moody and emotional; easier than before you were caregiving.
  2. You have guilt of wanting to take care of yourself and spend some time doing what you love, but also knowing your loved one needs you.
  3. You become exhausted easily.
  4. You begin to stop doing things you love to do for fun or you’re pulling away from people. You may feel depressed, helpless, and sometimes hopeless.
  5. You notice that you are very short with your loved one and may or may not realize your non-verbals are exacerbating a tense situation with your loved one.

Never be embarrassed or feel guilty to ask for help. There are respite options for you.