Lately I have been reading the book, The Grace Awakening, by Dr. Charles Swindoll. The book explains in-depth of what the word ‘grace’ means from a Christian standpoint, how it is given to us by God, and how we as Christians should show grace to others. I have always heard the word ‘grace’ while growing up in the church, and how God gives grace (undeserved privilege) to us every day, but I have not on a daily basis put into practice of giving the same grace I have been given to others.

As I am reading, I am learning that grace is basically letting others be — make their own decisions, choose their preferences and way of life, and for us to stay in our own lane and let others be. What comes to mind as I am learning more about grace is the word ‘hospice’.

I volunteer with local hospice companies by providing companionship, some homemaker duties, but most importantly being a presence to the hospice patient and their family. As I have learned over the past year and half of doing hospice is that hospice encompasses grace — letting the patient decide what they want for comfort measures, how they want their care administered, what medications they do and don’t want to be on that could prolong their life, how they want to pass, and letting the patient have their own beliefs/spiritual outlook. In hospice you cannot force or try to persuade patients to think how you think or change their beliefs before they pass away. Hospice is all about comfort, dignity, patient rights, patient involvement and GRACE.

I realize people tend to think of hospice right off as morbid, end of life, or the dying process. However, hospice is so much more than end of life! Hospice is about providing COMFORT to the patient, from medications to supplemental services such as the chaplain or the bereavement coordinator; providing SUPPORT to the family/caregivers by bereavement counseling or respite services (giving the family member or caregiver time to get things done or run errands while someone is with their loved one); affirming the patient THEY are the ones that are in control of how THEY want THEIR care to proceed; allowing the patient to believe in what they want to believe in, and never feeling judged or persuaded to believe in something else. Hospice is about them, not us.

If I could assist my audience to understand two things about hospice that I believe is so important it would be to not be afraid to discuss initiating hospice services in the early stages and to remember hospice is about the patient and his/her rights and comfort. As a prior administrator as well as a hospice volunteer I see too many families wait until their loved one is in the imminent stage of dying, while hospice could have been initiated so much sooner, and provided comfort measures and supplemental services to the patient for a better quality of care.

We are all going to pass away at some point, and we all want the same outcome — to go peacefully and have our decisions/preferences/beliefs honored. That is GRACE, my friend.